In the Spring of 2018, I received an email from a venue whose newsletter I subscribe to. Usually, after a quick scan of the title and excerpt, it gets deleted unless the show being promoted is of interest. This time, I saw QUEEN and WE WILL ROCK YOU somewhere in the text. If you don’t know much about me, Queen and Freddie Mercury are my musical heroes so I was quick to open it.
The email was sent from a producer associated with the venue. He was inquiring if I would be interested in performing as part of a tribute to Queen’s theatre production, WE WILL ROCK YOU which ran on the West End (London’s equivalent of Broadway) for 12 years and was a huge hit.
When I came to, I reread the email and thought this must be a mistake. Feinstein’s 54 Below (the room underneath the famed Studio 54) was an upscale, intimate venue that catered to Broadway patrons and featured incredible talent from productions past and present. Why would someone want to work with a ‘hack’ when a community of established or young, up-and-coming, professionally trained talent was at their beckon (cattle) call? Imposter syndrome immediately occupied my head space, but I escaped long enough to accept the offer. Shortly after, I was told that I would be OPENING the show with a snippet from Queen’s song ‘Innuendo’. Great. That’s just great.
I soon met with the producer and musical director at a rehearsal studio located in the theatre district. They were kind and made me feel welcome as I was clearly out of my element. I asked the producer how he discovered me and he said he came across my site when searching for a Queen/Freddie type vocalist. I guess some SEO paid off! We ran through my song a few times with just piano and vocal. Both producer and musical director were pleased and expressed excitement as this was going to be a powerful way to start the show. I enjoyed the sentiment for a nanosecond, then once again faced the imposter.
Dress rehearsals were the next step in production and very exciting for me. I sat back and thoroughly enjoyed one great vocalist after another nail their performance. Of course, the band and ensemble were equally as impressive. My 90 seconds or so went ok. The only thing missing for me that day was the comradery among my peers. Don’t get me wrong, everyone was very nice, but few engagements went beyond ‘hi’ that I initiated. Everyone either worked together or at the very least, knew of each other. I was an outsider and my AARP status made me the elder among the youthful cast. I was practically invisible, although there were a few shades of gray whose shadows I stood in.
On April 8th, I was certainly nervous but also very excited for the two shows scheduled that evening. The first sold out and the second reached near capacity. The cast was bustling about a few floors up in the green room: touching up makeup, addressing wardrobe, rehearsing lines/songs, and taking photos. Occasionally, a production assistant would interrupt the activities and announce how many minutes until we were to head downstairs and take our places. I quietly kept to myself during this time (shocking) but did engage with a girl who was also performing at 54 for the first time. It was a deep, lengthy conversation that lasted two, maybe three sentences.
It was time. Ready, Freddie.
The band and MC descended to the showroom and took their place on stage. They quickly tuned, tested, and tinkered with their instruments, arranged their sheet music and took a ready position. Next, the ensemble singers made their way downstairs and flanked both sides of the stage. Soon after, featured vocalists occupied the empty lobby area, a hallway behind the showroom and the kitchen which is where I stood. BTW, I just got nervous writing and reliving that.
Moments before the downbeat of ‘Innuendo’ which was my cue, someone handed me the mic and I thought to myself, “I don’t belong here.” Upon the dramatic chord and instrumentation that launched this Queen tribute, I clenched my fist, looked out over the audience, crossed a threshold, and approached the stage. Suddenly, I felt powerful and the room was mine.
This experience represents the most extreme, conflicting emotions I have ever felt before a performance.